I lay there as time flew by
Willing away the hours
A spaced filled with naught but white
Comfortably alone

It took but an instant
a moment of distraction
and it suddenly appeared
Without sound and without trace

Its weight heavy on my chest
if it meant harm I would not know
For its presence the only truth
Of it I could have retold

It was a weight I could not hold
But life continues to go on
Despite the rain despite the cold
I just wished it would be gone

A stranger sat besides my soul
unknown, oppressive and cold
I tried it all, it would not leave
for countless hours it held on

Steadfast tide would ebb and flow
Its presence a flickering light
At first the cold stayed a while
Receding only slightly each time

After how long I could not tell
The bite of cold would slowly fade
From bitter frostbite to light chill
But nonetheless it did not leave

Thus a day passed or two or more
Till I forget how it should feel
To not be cold at all I fear
For its not gone just buried deep

And thus I learnt to live like this
For a day or two or more a tear
Would not spill from longing eyes
Until this was my everyday

Those days long gone I hath forgot
How could I know what I had not
Till deep in thought I came to know
Tis not okay to be this cold

Oh my dearest friend of old
my hardened rival my hated foe
How I regret to have known you

And yet I find in me some faith
That all I've lived and all I've wrote
I might owe to your dear cold

Am I not but a product of you
Tempered in the cold
Of your hard embrace

Are you not but a part of me
Hidden in the dark
Washed away with warmth

But here I am my wicked muse
Writing about you
Thinking about you

Who will I be if I am free
Will you stay here
Can I be me

This endless stream of conscious thought
Does no more good
Than thanking you

Yet
I do not know what else to do
But to acknowledge you
Then let you go

Good bye old friend
My one true muse
I am ready to move on